Sunday Sun Spot

It might be cold outside but the pups are in their usual spot - on the sun.

Everyone Has A Story

I spent today remembering that other people have wonderfully happy, sad, tragic stories.  Wonderful stories that helped me realize and remember that mine isn't so bad in the grand scheme of things.  It just seems like it to me - because it's my story.  I, like everyone else, tend to get so wrapped up in my own story that I forget that there are people out there struggling with their own issues - whether they're sad or happy or emotional or physical.

I attended a workshop on building relationships in the workplace, within different cultures, within the different groups or categories we all label ourselves as a part of.  Race, religion, family origins, sex, where you grew up, family dynamics and structure, economics, body type, parent, and so forth.

So many different stories were shared.  The almost 60 year old black man who feels pushed aside by his family because he is getting older and they don't respect what he says, that he is the patriarch of the family.  The 25 year old single black mother of two children who is so well educated and was held hostage as a teenager, along with her new baby, by her drunken father after a family death.  A bi-sexual woman who believes that it is no one's business what she does with anyone.  A married woman who has tried for five years to become pregnant and it just doesn't work, for no reason.  The 50ish white woman who holds herself apart from the crowd and doesn't embrace interactions with others.  The stories were wonderful and gut wrenching and shared openly with the group. 

I couldn't do it though.  It was too emotional - the one thing I hate to express in front of people I don't know.  Even happiness.  Because I knew that I would tear up and become vulnerable.  It was a question, a fill in the blank: I am proud to be ___________.  People were proud to be mothers and fathers and grandparents, Christians, black, a teacher.  Well, I'll say it here:   I am proud to be a sister to an amazing brother.

Today I learned about other peoples stories.  I remembered that I'm not alone in my struggles.  I laughed and I cried.  I saw people I wanted to emulate and people I need to be aware that I could be too much like.  Aware to be able to stop it in time.  So, Pattie, take a minute to remember that all isn't as it seems at first glance. That people have their own stories.  To look at things differently and from all angles.  And it's ok to open up and be vulnerable in front of people.

Think I Could Pull it Off?

I'm thinking of going to this color - or something similar.  Think I could pull it off?!  My complection might be a little too red for it to be a good look for me.

Here

Southern Girl

I've been pinterst-ing a lot today.  By the way, this is my 300 post!!!!

 

New Obsession: Oilcloth

I think I have a new obsession.  Oilcloth.  For the dinning room table.  This is what I've found so far and I like these but am not totally sold on them yet.  Thoughts?

Via

 

Via

Via

Via

The first one has almost all of my colors.  The second one is just lovely, because I like green (which is missing elsewhere in the house) and includes the blue/turquoise that is in the kitchen.  The third one is lovely, but it may be too much purple as the walls are purple as well.  The fourth one is nice but will probably be the first to be knocked out of the options.  Can you have too much of the same color?  Think I'm leaning towards the second one.  If history is correct, it's probably the most expensive one.  Let me check...

Well, it's not the most expensive at $15/yard, but it's super wide at 55 inches, which is what I need for my table.  Must think this through for a while!

Looking Forward to 2012

I've never been one to call into favorite shows or make a big deal out of "celebs" and have always stive strived strove tried to treat all people the same - whether a gazillion people would recognize them or if I couldn't pick them out of a line up the next day.  That makes me sound like I run across a known person on a daily basis, which is no way the case.  But in my former lives, it was known to happen somewhat regularly.  Meaning maybe one or twice a year.  

So when Gina (of the Pretty Good Podcast) posted on her FB page:  "What has 2011 been like for you? what was the biggest up? what was the biggest down? what do you hope to change / improve in the new year? what do you wanna leave behind?" I decided to respond.  Why? you might ask.  Well, it was that time of year that you start reflecting and bashing and projecting and planning, so why not put it out there for others to read and possibly comment upon.  I've always said that the PGP folks were the best friends I've never met, and in many cases, this is true.  A lot of the issues they discuss are the same issues that I have - family, friends, finances, etc.  I don't always agree with what is said or what is done, but it gives me a different prespective and makes me think.  

This was my email to the show:

G, R & E -

(I just read through this email before sending it & realized that it's a little long.  Sorry about that.  Just consider it my form of therapy.)

My worse let down in 2011 is that I was still not able to get pregnant.  I've been trying since 2007.  But that's depressing, so let's think about that in 2012, Scarlett.   A friend and I sat down over this past weekend (with Oliver! playing in the background. I still like Great Expectations better - new movie out next year!) to list out our bucket lists for 2012.  My first draft:

1-try for baby again

2-get a new job that doesn't frustrate me daily
3-make a quilt
4-clean out garage
5-take a solo vacation
6-visit family at least once a month
7-take a mud bath
8-attend at least 1 midnight movie premier
9-read at least 1 book a month
10-complete a vision board
11-get another tattoo
12-attend 3 cultural events

This list, while nothing special, took me forever to put together because all I could think of were things that I needed to do (i.e. chores).  And you see that cleaning out the garage is still listed.  It was really tough for me to focus on the specifics of ME & what I think is important and what I thought I couldn't continue to postpone.  Maybe I should add "focus on my needs."  It's just a mess.  I think revisions are in order.

My 2012 list is very different than my 2011 list, which I like much better.  Hmm, I think I might have gotten some of these from ya'll at some point. 

1-work stronger, not longer

2-participate in communal activities to establish connections with others

3-sacrifice my (so-called) cool for fun

4-don't skip meals/eat less/one meal at a time
5-stop dreaming/start doing
6-use electronics to stay organized/use and keep less paper
7-be an active listener and participate in discussions/don't be afraid to speak out and express thoughts, ideas and concerns
8-escape the comfort zone

I found this site today:  30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. While this sounds a little dirty, I know a lot of people that could relate to a lot of the list.   Each one includes a bit of reasoning, so take a moment to read through them once or twice.  This might be the ultimate list!  The site followed the Stop Doing list with a Start Doing list, which is a the same list, just different wording (don't/start).  I guess they're catering to those positive people. Hmm, maybe I should put that on my list for 2012 too - "be more positive."  (Just to be clear, I do not have any connection to this site at all.)

Well, that's it.  Probably not what you were looking for, but it was actually very beneficial for me to think it all though - so thanks!   I look forward to hearing about your year and your wishes for the new year. 

Thank you for all that you do for your listeners,

Pattie

PS - I didn't expect you to try the moonshine on #600 - such pressure!  I hope it wasn't toooo bad.

You can listen to show #604 to hear R&G's comments.  I guess I need to make a new tab up there at the top of the page.  While I'm putting this up for 2012, I'm also going to keep the Non-Resolutions for 2011 up there.   Then I think I need to focus and put together my "final" list.  At what point is it too late into the year to finish putting together your goals for the year?

Random Updates

Bulleted updates seem to work well for me, so here we go...

• My mother is getting closer to knee surgery.  I think she's in denial with the whole thing, especially what the recovery time will be.  She's really defensive when I try to talk about it. 
• For whatever reason, today was the day that I contacted a League friend for adoption advice.  Haven't heard back yet.  It's been 30 minutes.  She'll respond.  Right?  Stay focused!  I've started doing some online research and an independent adoption seems the way to go.  You spread the word to the entire world then hope that someone that you know knows someone who knows someone who is looking to put their child(ren) up for adoption.  Then a lawyer finalizes everything.  It's sure it's super easy.  Not.
• My SMC group in ATL got together Sunday. A huge crowd!  So many thinkers and tryers in one place.  It was great to see so much knowledge sharing going on.  One person announced that she was 9 weeks pregnant but we got the email today that she lost the baby.  She's one of the group leaders, like me, so I know her a little better.  There was another there with her adopted 10 week old son.  She was new to the group.  Willing to talk about the process, etc.  Which is great, even though I can't remember her name.
• In case you missed it, I did go to the family Thanksgiving gathering.  Didn't say much to my mother and what I did say, I think went completely over her head or she didn't connect the dots.  Tried to stay away from the new little ones, but wasn't completely successful at it.  Thankfully it was a nice day so many people were outside.
• My personal deadline of finding another job by the end of the year seems to be a deadline that will need to be extended.  I should have started looking earlier than August.  A little ridiculous.   But I'm trying to stay positive.  I'm in a different frame of mind now than I was even a week ago.  Not sure what changed.  Nothing has changed, so I'm not sure what is causing my mental well being.   I've done a lot of shopping, which I'm convinced gives you endorphins.  Maybe that's it.  Course, that will change when the bills starts coming in.
• So, should I FB friend THE neighbor boy?